i've learned it takes years to build up trust...

can i find the words?

life is full of opportunities and chances... chances to make a difference, chances to be a better friend, chances to rise above your struggles to do what needs to be done, no matter what the consequences or the pain. 

Unfortunatly we dont always make the best of our chances, we dont use the opportunites presented before us... maybe were too scared, too afraid, we dont want to, or we just dont know how.  Sometimes the words just dont sum up what we need to say... but should that hold us back? 

we're not perfect, we make mistakes, i know ive definitly made my fair share, and then some... but from everything ive done...good and bad ive learned something from it. i have regrets, i wish i didnt hurt the people that trusted me, i wish i wasnt so infulenced by others and i wish i could find the courage to say what i feel. i wish i could say i was proud of everything ive done, and the person i always am.

at the same time all my mistakes and shortcomings have brought me to where i am... w/out them i wouldnt know some of the people i know and wouldnt be the person i am today... every opportunity, missed or not helps to define us. 

as for who i was before... i miss that too, i miss the innocence and the nievity of the past.  i miss my friends whom i no longer talk to or confide in... i miss you.  i want to stay living in the present,  dreaming for my future... but i dont want to leave my past behind, to be hidden in a shoe box, gathering dust. i dont want to let go of and forget all the people that helped me to grow, and i definitly dont want to leave with them thinking i dont care, because i do, i just dont always find the best ways of showing it. 

so make the best out of every opportunity... because how much worse it is to regret what you didnt say or what you didnt do than to regret saying something you once felt or somehting you once felt you had to do...

-anna xoxo

...and just seconds to destroy it.

Softballs amost over... thursdays our last game, and i have no idea what im going to do w/ myself w/ all that extra time, but i definitly cant wait for summer... running around bare feet, swimming, sleeping in, friends... i am so ready! 

so im lost in this place where i dont know what i want or what i sould do... i dont know who i want to be anymore...  the things i want to say i dont and the things i need to say i cant. im realizing (yet again) that some things are just never ment to be... no matter how much you want them.

live hard. love much. laugh loud.
-anna xoxo

you look. he looks. you walk away wondering if your look
had the same affect on him that his did on you

today was really awesome... softball was fantastic, all we did was take picture and talk about sex, it was great.  tomorrow is bards birthday bash and ashley's b-day! im excited... but im gonna go to bed now, im still not caught up on my sleep from cali

so, theres this girl who likes this guy, right, and whenever this girl is around around this guy she get one of thoes feelings... you kno the one were your stomache gets butterflys and you cant help but smile.  one of thoes feelings where you forget what you were suppost to be saying because he just looked you in the eyes and you dont remember what the hell you were talking about. but you see, this girl and this guy will never be together because guys like that just dont like girls like her... but who knows... 

much love,

-anna xoxo
live.laugh.love.

so cali definitly had its moments... i didnt want to come back. i think its funny tho... everyone couldnt wait to go so they could get away from the drama for just a few days... funny how it has a way of following us everywhere... but hey, thats high school right? the ocean was awesome, sea world was great--probably my favorite day, and we looked b-e-a-utiful at the dinner cruse, but i could definity go a while--a very long while w/o going to another zoo.

-anna xoxo

today=suck

i have not had a very good day and i need a hug and im really not looking forward to the whole testing thing tomorrow, ewww math. 

i was at this site and it had all these survey thingys right, and there was this one about the 90's and what you remeber... and omg... i remembered some pretty awesome things like... beenie babies, "so why don't u marry it!", "talk to the hand", power rangers (i always liked the pink one), skorts... i thought i was so cool, but anyways it was fun... the joys of being little and worrying about recess and cooties...

live.laugh.love.

-anna xoxo

when you try your best but you don't succeed.
when you get what you want but not what you need.
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep.
stuck in reverse and the tears come streaming down your face.
when you lose something you can't replace.
when you love someone but it goes to waste.
its then that you tell yourself itll be ok

i know i'll never be the girl with the perfect hair
or be able to wear white without spilling anything on it,
but it's okay

you fight with the people you care about most
    because those are the relationships you are willing to fight for.